I know it's been almost a month since my last post, sorry to fall so far behind. I have been struggling to keep myself afloat lately (almost literally because we have had almost 8 inches of rain in the last 2 weeks, 11 inches total for the month of April).
The month of April has been a weight loss roller coaster for me. I have been down and up and up and down. After Easter I am expecting to be up again since the Easter Bunny was so nice to have left so much candy that just happens to sit out on the counter within arms reach every time you pass. (I know this is my own fault, I just need to put the candy away, but have yet to do so). I just don't understand why I am struggling so much when I get to a certain number. I have hit this number at least 3 times already and every time after I feel great. I think of how awesome it will be to lose that last 10 lbs and finally hit my goal and I am very pumped up.
Then the following week for some reason I lose control. I don't know why I do that to myself or what is going on, but shortly afterwards I start to gain and the roller coaster ride begins again. I am not quite sure how many times a person can lose the same 5 lbs. over and over, but at this rate I feel like I will be setting a record. Why can I not find the strength to keep going after hit that # and why would I want to self sabotage? This week I have not made wise choices (some purposefully, even though I know I shouldn't) and I can really tell. I have had such a harder time getting out of bed in the morning and getting myself motivated to move. I have had zero desire to exercise (which isn't a huge change), but before even when I didn't feel like it I could at least make myself do SOMETHING and would feel better afterwards. Not this week. This week I have exercised none and ate poorly and I can feel it. I know I feel 100% better when I eat healthy, so why don't I just DO IT!
I could blame our hectic schedule, running back and forth all week for meetings, tumbling, speech and what not. I could blame the rain because that means I can't get outside and exercise where I like to. Or I could blame the holiday because I had 3 big meals to attend and candy everywhere I would turn. But in reality the only thing to blame is myself! I make the choices and decide what I do or don't do and what I eat or don't eat and lately I have been letting myself go unaccountable. My goal for myself this week is to be accountable for my actions. Maybe that will help me get back on track or at least get that 5 lbs off one more time! :)
